Wives live longer than husbands because they're not married to women.

I'm handsome, no ands, buts or ifs.

We all have a dinosaur deep within us just trying to get out.

Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!

For as long as I can remember, I've had memories.

Did you know that..........'embargo' spelled backwards is 'o grab me

This just in: Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3.

Give me liberty! Or a bran muffin!

Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. It's not like the sheep was underage.

Many people think it's in bad taste to advertise for an insane asylum... but come on down. We're going crazy.

Wisdom is the closest to foolishness, a person can become so wise it leads him to become foolish.

I didn’t even have a name for her, shade or human, but I didn’t need one to know her. (Eric)

Problems are never as difficult as when they are your own.

I hope, Cecily, I shall not offend you if I state quite frankly and openly that you seem to me to be in every way the visible personification of absolute perfection.

I am a 'little messiah' walking on earth.

All good moral philosophy is ... but the handmaid to religion.

Let us take a little time to meditate, to think of what we can do to improve our lives and to become better examples of what a Latter-day Saint should be.

We have a saying in Tibet: If a problem can be solved there is no use worrying about it. If it can't be solved, worrying will do no good.

Another of our highly prized virtues is fidelity. We are immensely pleased with ourselves when we are faithful.

Good and evil, right and wrong were invented for the ordinary average man, the inferior man, because he needs them.