Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises.

I'm handsome, no ands, buts or ifs.

We all have a dinosaur deep within us just trying to get out.

Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!

For as long as I can remember, I've had memories.

Wives live longer than husbands because they're not married to women.

Did you know that..........'embargo' spelled backwards is 'o grab me

This just in: Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3.

Give me liberty! Or a bran muffin!

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. It's not like the sheep was underage.

Many people think it's in bad taste to advertise for an insane asylum... but come on down. We're going crazy.

God's extraordinary work is most often done by ordinary people in the seeming obscurity of a home and family.

Ego-less, in time, you will no longer be God-less.

When we're struck with cruelty, we can either inflict the same on others like it's a rite of passage, or decide that here is where it stops.

I was a sports kid.

Contemporary art photography, or, more specifically, what I would term mainstream art photography, represents for the most part the mining of an exhausted lode.

By and large, serious fiction was the work of victims who portrayed victims for an audience of victims who, it was oddly assumed, would want to see their lives realistically portrayed.

Shy and unready men are great betrayers of secrets, for there are few wants more urgent for the moment than the want of something to say.

I was fifteen in college at Tulane. I lied about my age in college so that I could be normal socially. So that girls would go out with me and stuff like that. I just said I was normal age.

If I don't practise for one day, I know it; if I don't practise for two days, the critics knows it; if I don't practise for three days, the audience knows it.

Only fine cigars are worth smoking and only men who smoke fine cigars are worth kissing.