When your mother starts using the word "party" as a verb about her kid, that's absolutely crazy.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

Never reward a solder for doing whats expected

Whatever is coming for me has already happened.

Great men can’t be ruled... The great is the rare, the difficult, the exceptional.

Why do we love heroes? Because life is a fight.

One cannot develop taste from what is of average quality but only from the very best.

We never got on a big, big tour, but we did a lot of spot dates.

Beliefs are the determinants of what one experiences. There are no external 'causes.'

Generally the theories we believe we call facts, and the facts we disbelieve we call theories.

Optimism is invaluable for the meaningful life. With a firm belief in a positive future, you can throw yourself into the service of that which is larger than you are.

I knew that the right person for Crossroads would come along if we were just patient and made sure that we didn't try to force anything.