When you put an album out, you can't do any material from the album if people are paying to see you.

The idea of, 'The journey is the destination' is put into action by browsing in an indie record store. Besides, a human being is a much better guide than a 'More Like This' link on the internet.

So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, 'The good outnumber you, and we always will.'

If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.

I want to experience as many different tastes, sights, emotions, conflicts, and cultures as possible, so that I can expand the canvas of my memory and enrich my comedy.

Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as "Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice"?

I fantasize and idealize myself as Bugs Bunny, but I know deep down I'm Daffy Duck.

You have to be ruthless with yourself, in terms of being honest about what is working and what is not.

Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself.

I hate all sidekicks.

I identify myself as a stand-up first. Even though lately there's been an explosion of acting on my schedule.

Honor the freedom to celebrate Christmas, not alone - but, in the company of all those you love, too.

It is time for a new compact among the civilized peoples of this world to eradicate war at its most fundamental source: the corruption of young minds by violent ideology.

Every age develops its own peculiar forms of pathology, which express in exaggerated form its underlying character structure.

If anybody ever marries you, it will be for the pleasure of hearing you talk piffle

Since new developments are the products of a creative mind, we must therefore stimulate and encourage that type of mind in every way possible.

When the rich [and politically powerful] make war, it's the poor [and politically weak] who die.

Prayer is an invisible tool which is wielded in a visible world.

Thatʹs a dangerous look,ʺ said Dimitri, giving me a brief glance before returning his eyes to the road. ʺWhat look?ʺ I asked innocently. ʺThe one that says you just got some idea.

A commission is an invitation to fall in love.