When you get older you have to be careful about always saying, "Things aren't as good as they used to be." But it's hard not to.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

Being kind is more important than being right.

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.

Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

There are no quick fixes in your life. If you want to live a happier life you have to make your actions happier every day. You need to be determined to make your life better if you want it to be so.

Man appoints and God disappoints.

There's no business like show business.

It's famous that comedians have a very dark personal state of mind. I think, in my case, it's the same. The only way to get deep is to have a balance, or a counterbalance.

I am a person of the 18th century.

Most of our problems are related to the mind, so we have to work to reduce our destructive emotions.

I'm grateful to be of use. I will not be misused or abused, but I will be of use to anybody.

The whole history of the 20th century is a history of resistance groups which are either nationalist or, in large parts of the Muslim word, religious groups.

A shilling life will give you all the facts.