When the boys at school found out I had a potentially fatal peanut allergy, they used to hold me up against a wall and play Russian Roulette with a bag of Revels!

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that!

You know the animal that kills the most people in the world? The Hepatitis Bee.

About a month before he died, my grandfather, we covered his back full of lard - after that he went downhill very quickly.

As a child I watched Mary Poppins so many times I suffered from a condition with my sight. Umdiddleiddleiddleumdiddle Eye.

My grandfather invented the cold air balloon... But it never really took off.

I've just finished my book, I wrote it on penguins. Come to think of it, paper would have been better.

I hate sitting in traffic, because I always get run over.

I went out with this girl the other night, she wore this real slinky number...She looked great going down the stairs.

If you're depressed and called Morgan spend the first half of the day in Germany for some positive affirmation.

Most of my relatives are police marksmen, apart from my grandad who was a bank robber. He died recently, surrounded by his family.

Do what is right, not what is easy nor what is popular.

What matters is what appears in your soul, not what your eyes see and what you can name.

I didn't want to hurt him!" Ender cried. "Why didn't he just leave me alone!

People are ready to take the good things into their minds! Give them good and right ideas

'Tis more noble to forgive, and more manly to despise, than to revenge an Injury.

Give as few orders as possible," his father had told him once long ago. "Once you've given orders on a subject, you must always give orders on that subject.

Kindness is the touch of an angel's hand.

What we get to think and know about the world is in the hands of a very few... A truly informed public is antithetical to the interests of modern consumer capital.

If there is anything more dangerous to the life of the mind than having no independent commitment to ideas, it is having an excess of commitment to some special and constricting idea.

The most important job you will ever have is your commitment to a promise you made to someone.