My grandfather invented the cold air balloon... But it never really took off.

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that!

You know the animal that kills the most people in the world? The Hepatitis Bee.

About a month before he died, my grandfather, we covered his back full of lard - after that he went downhill very quickly.

As a child I watched Mary Poppins so many times I suffered from a condition with my sight. Umdiddleiddleiddleumdiddle Eye.

I've just finished my book, I wrote it on penguins. Come to think of it, paper would have been better.

I hate sitting in traffic, because I always get run over.

I went out with this girl the other night, she wore this real slinky number...She looked great going down the stairs.

If you're depressed and called Morgan spend the first half of the day in Germany for some positive affirmation.

Most of my relatives are police marksmen, apart from my grandad who was a bank robber. He died recently, surrounded by his family.

My aunt Marge has been so ill for so long that we've started to call her I can't believe she's not better

The most dangerous moment for a bad government is when it begins to reform.

That being said, I am not one to feel sorry for myself. I believe it is healthy to honor one's feelings and do the best we can to learn and grow from them moving forward.

The only real difference between Anxiety and Excitement was my willingness to let go of Fear.

I don't miss the ministry, because I'm completely engaged in it. In terms of parish ministry, I miss the intimacy with a group of people.

Every show that sells out is like a hero's welcome for me.

Charity keepeth us in Faith and Hope, and Hope leadeth us in Charity. And in the end all shall be Charity.

He is exactly the poem I wanted to write.

Who let the dogs out? Who, who.

I'm regularly asked, 'What's a good voice?' I often answer, 'One that I don't notice'. I would also add, one which makes me notice things about a spoken text

Sometimes the embers are better than the campfire.