When faced with people who have very limited conversational skills and no apparent desire to cultivate any it's always easier to simply go along.

I know family comes first, but shouldn't that mean after breakfast?

It's always me, isn't it? I'm not really a very nice person, but for some reason it's always me that they come to with their problems.

The key to a happy life is to have accomplishments to be proud of and purpose to look forward to, and at the moment I had both. How wonderful it was to be me.

Since I am not actually a real human being, my emotional responses are generally limited to what I have learned to fake.

It really is better to be lucky than to be good.

A man who discovers his pants are on fire tends to have very little time to worry about somebody else's box of matches

I mean, really: what kind of person could possibly dislike me?

I had become a perfect fake human, saying the stupid and pointless things that humans say to each other all day long.

Of course it was a terrible thing, and the world would be a much better place without someone in it who could do that, but did that mean we had to miss lunch?

There are still very few laws against thinking, although I am sure they're working hard on that in Washington.

The mouth speaks from well spring of the heart.

When we do something, we may not think about why we are doing what we are doing, says Oehler, for then it would suddenly be totally impossible for us to do anything.

The wise will hide your follies and help you learn, but the wicked ones will gossip about it with scoundrels.

her grass seemed greener until a drought cameand cracked the earth beneath you.

I was the one thing he had to deny-- the beautiful truth within his terrible lie.-who knew such a young heart could shatter?

I was always a bit different. I had a very happy childhood, but I could never hang on to mates.

People for the most part can smell lies.

Why don't we call on the credit card companies to be accountable? They need to be held accountable for their predatory lending practices.

A burnt dog dreads the fire.

The American idiom has much to offer us that the English language has never heard of