When I'm talking to people I like to stop and quote myself. My quotes have a way of spicing up conversation.

New York is my Lourdes, where I go for spiritual refreshment... a place where you're least likely to be bitten by a wild goat.

The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you.

It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody.

I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn't make it worse.

They took away our land, our language, and our religion; but they could never harness our tongues.

The terrorist is the one with the small bomb.

I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.

I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis.

The only thing I envy in young people is their livers.

If I could uninvent anything, I would uninvent Hitler's mum, guns and broccoli.

In an honest search for knowledge, you quite often have to abide by ignorance for an indefinite period.

I'm drawn to fiction that hints at nonfiction, that blurs or seems to blur the boundaries between invention and autobiography.

Do I not deal with angels When her lips I touch.

My life had come to a sudden stop. I was able to breathe, to eat, to drink, to sleep. I could not, indeed help doing so; but there was no real life in me.

My health is important, so I learn everything I can about nutrition.

I would like to do something really big and then something really small, and see what it's like to work in that way, but in front of a live audience.

I think faith in each other is much harder than faith in God...

Thoughts are like seeds. If you want different results in life, you have to figure out which thoughts are capable of growing those results and which aren’t.

Our ability to know about ourselves and the world is what makes us human