Vincent van Gogh's mother painted all of his best things. The famous mailed decapitated ear was a figment of the public relations firm engaged by Van Gogh's dealer.

A good heavy book holds you down. It's an anchor that keeps you from getting up and having another gin and tonic.

It's my belief that sanity lies in realizing that reality is not exactly what we had in mind.

Mozart combined high formality and playfulness that delights as no other composition in any other medium does.

People don't necessarily want or need to be done unto as you would have them do unto you. They want to be done unto as they want to be done unto.

Ham's substantial, ham is fat. Ham is firm and sound. Ham's what God was getting at When He made pigs so round.

Cats have intercepted my footsteps at the ankle for so long that my gait, both at home and on tour, has been compared to that of a man wading through low surf.

The legendary yet factual Curtis Wilkie has been the right man in the right place at an uncanny number of extraordinary times.

The first time I walked into a library, I got so excited I almost wet my pants.

I prefer my oysters fried; that way I know my oysters died.

The last time somebody said, 'I find I can write much better with a word processor', I replied, 'They used to say the same thing about drugs'.

People with Sweet Relationships [those favoring you, always talk good] with you, will make you stumble.

Fear is the absence of faith.

To praise princes for virtues they do not possess is to insult them without fear of consequences.

Love life more than the meaning of it?

We can know ourselves only because we can remember.

One of the reasons I loved playing quarterback was that I got to call the plays. The cancer put me in a position where I really wasn't in control anymore.

I'm from Jersey, so I have a love of T.G.I. Friday's and chain restaurants in general. When you go to a Friday's, it seems like everyone's on ecstasy and way too happy anyway.

sometimes our future is dictated by what we are, as opposed to what we want.

When one guy sees an invisible man he's a nut case; ten people see him it's a cult; ten million people see him it's a respected religion.

The pleasing punishment that women bear.