They had to ask spain I think, they've had to say to Spain, can you lend us some stuff for the roads, and it's Gordon Brown phoning up going 'pass the salt'

There are only two conditions where you’re allowed to wake up a woman on a lie-in: it’s snowing or the death of a celebrity.

Normally you have news, weather and travel.....but not on snow day, on snow day news is weather is travel.

I'm glad Carol Vorderman has left Countdown, I mean it's not like she did much. She was effectively just an autistic shelf-stacker.

So you're mother? Nice to put a name to a face.

I will listen to a beautiful person much more quickly than a plain person, and I have to learn to be nice to people who are not attractive looking.

I figured that maybe he was only hanging around for the tea and tobacco and when one ran out, so would he.

When your about to criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way when you criticize them you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes

Loathesome I am, and evil. You can mock me for that. But leave my pain alone!

Mike Knox, I am also getting real sick of this! Your problem isn't me staying away from your girl... Your problem is your girl staying away from me!

Other kingdoms are still present on earth along with the kingdom of the heavens. That is the human condition.

I change my direction, I can't even help it. It's sort of like the fortune and misfortune of being a rapper.

When you look at a city, it's like reading the hopes, aspirations and pride of everyone who built it.

Meditation isn't really about getting rid of thoughts, it's about changing the pattern of grasping on to things, which in our everyday experience is our thoughts.

On this special Fathers Day, we'd like to wish all of you a very Happy Birthday.