There is nothing personal about a personal ad.

Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.

Never trust a woman whose father calls her 'Princess'. Chances are she believes it.

There is no such thing as a self-cleaning oven.

A $20 haircut hardly ever lasts longer than a $5 haircut.

Seek but provision of bread and wine, fools to flatter, and clothing fine; and nothing of God shall ever be thine.

The chief beneficiary of life insurance policies for young, single people is the life insurance agent.

They aren't kidding when they say, "Wash Whites separately.

Always take an extra quarter to the laundry room.

Hurry up and learn patience.

If you have to learn it from a self-help book, you may be beyond help.

Work banishes those three great evils boredom vice and poverty.

He who represents himself has a fool for a client

What we assert, very often can become our reality. To some degree, everybody can try to shape and control their fate. Everybody picks an identity.

Ladies in bunches always filled me with vague apprehension and a firm desire to be elsewhere.

Strategies grow initially like weeds in a garden, they are not cultivated like tomatoes in a hothouse.

Species conversation is beyond a doubt an issue that truly matters to the American public.

The task of a leader is to simplify. You should be able to explain where you need to go in two minutes.

The fact that we can describe the motions of the world using Newtonian mechanics tell us nothing about the world. The fact that we do, does tell us something about the world.

Teach yourself by your own mistakes; people learn only by error.