There is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bllodeshot eye.

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'

Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.

If a group of people - leaders - can convince a group of folk who barely have a pot to piss in that the rich shouldn't be taxed-- THAT is leadership!

When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out.

You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.

The sooner you master your mind, the sooner you master yourself.

The quality of people's lives is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavour.

If my parents were still alive, they would be very proud. They gave me a good start in life, the values that have driven me, and the confidence to believe in myself.

My husband can not f****ing throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time.

I want to see America thrive. I want to see all different families here succeed.

I lean toward a flat tax. But I want to make it real flat, like ZERO.

Hard work and training. There's no secret formula. I lift heavy, work hard and aim to be the best.

In a dark time, the eye begins to see / I meet my shadow in the deepening shade...Dark, dark my light, and darker my desire.

I'm a child who was abused. I know the difference. I clearly know the difference. The whipping for correction and then their child abuse.