There are two golden rules for an orchestra: start together and finish together. The public doesn't give a damn what goes on in between.

The function of music is to release us from the tyranny of conscious thought.

They are quite hopeless - drooling, driveling, doleful, depressing, dropsical drips.

Composers should write tunes that chauffeurs and errand boys can whistle.

The trouble with women in an orchestra is that if they're attractive it will upset my players and if they're not it will upset me.

"Have you heard any Stockhausen?" Beecham was asked. "No, but I believe I have stepped in some."

Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands and all you can do is scratch it.

The sound of a harpsichord - two skeletons copulating on a tin roof in a thunderstorm.

Great music is that which penetrates the ear with facility and leaves the memory with difficulty. Magical music never leaves the memory.

It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes.

Her singing reminds me of a cart coming downhill with the brake on.

No one referred toFearghus the Destroyer as the life of anyone’s party.

Angels only care about what you look like on the inside. A pure heart is the vessel that contains a soul's true beauty.

Satisfaction of one's curiosity is one of the greatest sources of happiness in life.

My mother thinks I am the best. And I was raised to always believe what my mother tells me.

There is something in statistics that makes it very similar to astrology.

The hunger of the eye is not to be despised; and they are to be pitied who have starvation of the eye.

This is the new politics. Personal responsibility. Not leaving it to others. I am my planet's keeper.

Smile... it irritates those who wish to destroy you.

Without patience and the skill of a craftsman, even the greatest talent is wasted.

Ultimately, it's a pretty confusing moment.