Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands and all you can do is scratch it.

The function of music is to release us from the tyranny of conscious thought.

They are quite hopeless - drooling, driveling, doleful, depressing, dropsical drips.

Composers should write tunes that chauffeurs and errand boys can whistle.

The trouble with women in an orchestra is that if they're attractive it will upset my players and if they're not it will upset me.

"Have you heard any Stockhausen?" Beecham was asked. "No, but I believe I have stepped in some."

The sound of a harpsichord - two skeletons copulating on a tin roof in a thunderstorm.

Great music is that which penetrates the ear with facility and leaves the memory with difficulty. Magical music never leaves the memory.

There are two golden rules for an orchestra: start together and finish together. The public doesn't give a damn what goes on in between.

It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes.

Her singing reminds me of a cart coming downhill with the brake on.

Now if you should hear any one say that Lincoln don't [sic] want to go to Congress, I wish you as a personal friend of mine, wouldtell him that you have reason to believe he is mistaken.

I cannot avoid condemning all those who, from self-conceit have the pretension to imitate great artists of the past. If their powers of emotion be weak, their powers of expression will be likewise.

If you think about it, fiction is nothing more than gossip about the people you've made up.

What you do for money you do badly.

If enough people think of a thing and work hard enough at it, I guess it's pretty nearly bound to happen, wind and weather permitting.

One must make the warrior walk his everyday walk.

One way to open your eyes is to ask yourself, "What if I had never seen this before? What if I knew i would never see it again?

God is rich in mercy. I know this wealth of his with the certainty of experience, I have touched it.

If our children are healthy, they'll develop into their full potential and become wonderful tax-paying citizens sometime.

I love my cross-sectioned, cross-cultural audience. Some of them are doing better than the average guy, but my audience has always been people who are struggling to stay in the middle class.