There are people who like just ordinary comedy fun, and making mistakes - which I do easily - and then there are people who like the falling over.

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.

Such is life and life is such and after all it isn't much. First a cradle. Then a hearse. It might have been better, but it could have been worse.

I owe everything to the army.

You know I've got a chum, a smashing mate, he's got a dog with no legs, and he calls it a cigarette. It's true, yeah, because at nighttime he has to take it out for a drag.

It was absolutely thrilling to meet Laurel and Hardy, they were so nice.

But no, I've just been very lucky. But I've worked hard, and the harder you work, the luckier you seem to get.

I've got one idea I want to do for a film and you know I just enjoy myself doing bits and pieces.

I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry

All my boyhood, all I ever wanted was to be loved.

My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't got that, it's very sad.

The easiest way to be inscrutable is to be completely straightforward and honest. Then no one will be able to figure out what you’re up to.

They all ordered massive plates of eggs, pancakes, and reindeer sausage, though Frank looked a little worried about the reindeer. "You think it's okay that we're eating Rud

We live half our waking lives and all of our sleeping lives in some private, useless, and insensible waters we never mention or recall.

Thinking about women who can't have their own baby, even the first baby, I'm really lucky.

I'm not used to saying I'm gonna do something and i don't do it.

Any time you get a chance to do something different or get away from your appearance or get away from what people are used to seeing, I think it's always good.

The clever cannot catch the genius; such an attempt is just an act of trying to catch the shadow of a flying bird!

How did you feel feeding doughnuts to a horse? Had a kick out of it, huh? Got a big laugh. Did you ever think of feeding doughnuts to a human being? No!

People ... have tried to evoke God or devil to justify them in what their glands insisted upon.

I pass the test that says a man who isn't a socialist at 20 has no heart, and a man who is a socialist at 40 has no head.