All my boyhood, all I ever wanted was to be loved.

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.

Such is life and life is such and after all it isn't much. First a cradle. Then a hearse. It might have been better, but it could have been worse.

I owe everything to the army.

You know I've got a chum, a smashing mate, he's got a dog with no legs, and he calls it a cigarette. It's true, yeah, because at nighttime he has to take it out for a drag.

It was absolutely thrilling to meet Laurel and Hardy, they were so nice.

But no, I've just been very lucky. But I've worked hard, and the harder you work, the luckier you seem to get.

I've got one idea I want to do for a film and you know I just enjoy myself doing bits and pieces.

I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry

My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't got that, it's very sad.

I don't know nothing about communism. But I know the Albanians loved me. Same reason as anyone else loves me. Because I made them laugh.

Doubt … is an illness that comes from knowledge and leads to madness.

I can’t think of anything more disheartening than living a life without a clear purpose.

An infinitely unpleasant fraction of a second is a small price to pay for the opportunity to stride across eternity.

In this age where people can become famous without doing anything, we are now encouraging a literary and publishing atmosphere where you must become famous before you can do anything.

I do very well three things: my job, stupidities and children.

I love fiction because in fiction you go into the thoughts of people, the little people, the people who were defeated, the poor, the women, the children that are never in history books.

His coworker was velvety-skinned, a sexy boy-on-the-cusp-of man.

Every time you make a decision, you mess with someone's life.

Destiny is the prison and chain of the ignorant. Understand that destiny like the water of the Nile: Water before the faithful, blood before the unbeliever.

When you go to bed tonight, ask yourself 'What percentage of my day did I spend creating residual income?' If the answer is ZERO, you're in trouble.