There are certain truths so true that they are practically unbelievable.

Our form of democracy is bribery, on the highest scale.

There's a lot to be said for being nouveau riche, and the Reagans mean to say it all.

The unfed mind devours itself.

We are the United States of Amnesia, we learn nothing because we remember nothing.

Democracy is supposed to give you the feeling of choice, like Painkiller X and Painkiller Y. But they're both just aspirin.

Write something, even if it's just a suicide note.

Persuading the people to vote against their own best interests has been the awesome genius of the American political elite from the beginning.

The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so.

You know, I've been around the ruling class all my life, and I've been quite aware of their total contempt for the people of the country.

That loyal retainer of the Chase Manhattan Bank, the American president.

Give us everything we ask for and suddenly it's too much.

As scarce as truth is the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

Girls need to know that we are all unique and that we should all celebrate our unique beauty because it comes in all different shapes and sizes.

As you warm to the ideas expressed in Total Recall, you find yourself reaching for your digital camera to record the moment just gone by.

Can't you see... that I made it? Yeah I made it First I made you who you are, but then I made it.

I used to go to the Cleveland Comedy Club all the time. If there was a comic I liked, I'd go see him two or three times that week. Bob Saget was one of those guys.

...there are two ways of being unhappy: One is not getting what you want, and the other is getting what you want.

I don't believe other people are ever as foolishly excited as I am while I'm working. How could they be? Writers would have to live in trees.

Reth laughed. I punched him. It hurt. Me, not him, unfortunately.

Use harms and even destroys beauty. The noblest function of an object is to be contemplated.