The war in Iraq is still going on. The British are helping. Mexico wants to help, but they need a ride over there.

We have chemical weapons in America too, they're called meth and cocaine.

You write some material, go up on stage and try it out; go back home and throw it in the trash can. And the next day do it again.

The police pulled me over and asked me if I have anything illegal in my car. I looked at my cousin and I ran.

I better start doing stand up comedy in Spanish before every comedian in Mexico translates my jokes.

I gotta lose weight. I got stretch marks on my stomach and I never had a baby. So now when I take off my shirt in front of women, I tell them I was attacked by a mountain lion.

Rich people bring a lawyer. Latinos and blacks bring their mom.

I like to watch French movies with the volume up so my neighbors could think I'm terrorist.

My mom cooked the same food every day - tortillas, beans and meat. If it was enchiladas, it was - tortillas, beans and meat. If it was burritos, it was still - tortillas, beans and meat.

I envy people who could just have one drink and not go look for cocaine afterwards.

A real woman needs quotes by dead men to get through the day.

The Bible may be an arresting andpoetic work of fiction, but it is not the sort of book you should giveyour children to form their morals.

People who work together will win, whether it be against complex football defenses, or the problems of modern society.

The Christian's heart must be soaked in prayer before the true spiritual fruits begin to grow.

Like a human being, a company has to have an internal communication mechanism, a "nervous system", to coordinate its actions.

Touching Hearts, Changing Lives.

Vice gets more in this vicious world than piety.

The Self is you. It is everything. It is God. That is who you really are.

Do what you should, not what you may.

Giger’s work disturbs us, spooks us, because of its enormous evolutionary time span. It shows us, all too clearly, where we come from and where we are going.

Political institutions are a superstructure resting on an economic foundation.