The only two things you can truly depend upon are gravity and greed.

Billy Crystal... I crap bigger than him.

Most of the stuff I do is garbage.

I used to be six foot four. Now that I'm old, I slouch. So, I'm six foot three.

I go to see maybe seven films a year at the most, and since I only go to see the best, it follows that I very rarely see my own.

Calvin: Why are you crying mom?Mom: I'm cutting up an onion.Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.

The soul fire determines the strength of the spirit.

Nothing comes to our lives without a reason

It is better to be true to what you believe, though that be wrong, than to be false to what you believe, even if that belief is correct.

Instead of talking about cuts in Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid, we must end the absurdity of corporations not paying a nickel in federal income taxes.

Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling backward in search of the Atlantic Ocean, and missing? That's the way the mind of man operates.

Public Opinion, this invisible, intangible, omnipresent, despotic tyrant; this thousand-headed Hydra - the more dangerous for being composed of individual mediocrities...

You know, I come from six generations of college graduates.

We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking.

He is a friend indeed who proves himself a friend in need.