The man who comes to take care of my piranhas told me that if I left West Ham he would kill all my fish.

I'm very happy to have moved to West Ham, because I can play for a better team than Sheffield Wednesday.

Robot Wars is not a sport. Guys just play with remote controls. Now, if they were wired up and got an electrical shock each time their robot got hammered, then, yes, it would be a sport.

A lion can't stay in a cage. A lion has to be on the pitch.

Only if we realise how sh*t we were at Blackburn can we improve.

We need to have lectures about why we can't have every day things like mayonnaise, ketchup and Coke.

I am a fascist, not a racist.

I wanted to show them I will never give up. We have to keep together. I still believe in myself. I will never change. The players need to release the rubbish from their brains.

The shopping is not finished and before the pre-season starts I would like to bring in another two players. I like shopping, maybe I have become a woman.

Let's be honest. We're not Manchester United or Arsenal, are we?

David James is a cretin.

Well, you probably will always believe there should be laws against fraud, and I don't think there is any need for a law against fraud.

You just write about things that happen.

The cards always look different when it's your turn to play them; loaded with subtly different possibilities.

We begin to not be human, as we've known it, any longer. But to be just creative minds and action, whereas right now we're confused minds and actions, and our environment mirrors that back to us.

Everyone believes in the atrocities of the enemy and disbelieves in those of his own side, without ever bothering to examine the evidence.

Having a messy coat closet should not be a big deal in a full life, and yet there's something about getting control of that coat closet that's surprisingly satisfying.

Things do change. The only question is that since things are deteriorating so quickly, will society and man's habits change quickly enough?

I have very smart parents. I feel I learned a lot from both of my parents and life experience.

It is my belief, based partly on personal experience but partly also arrived at by looking around at others, that childhood lasts considerably longer in the males of our species than in the females.

Radical Acceptance is the willingness to experience ourselves and our lives as it is.