We need to have lectures about why we can't have every day things like mayonnaise, ketchup and Coke.

The man who comes to take care of my piranhas told me that if I left West Ham he would kill all my fish.

I'm very happy to have moved to West Ham, because I can play for a better team than Sheffield Wednesday.

Robot Wars is not a sport. Guys just play with remote controls. Now, if they were wired up and got an electrical shock each time their robot got hammered, then, yes, it would be a sport.

A lion can't stay in a cage. A lion has to be on the pitch.

Only if we realise how sh*t we were at Blackburn can we improve.

I am a fascist, not a racist.

I wanted to show them I will never give up. We have to keep together. I still believe in myself. I will never change. The players need to release the rubbish from their brains.

The shopping is not finished and before the pre-season starts I would like to bring in another two players. I like shopping, maybe I have become a woman.

Let's be honest. We're not Manchester United or Arsenal, are we?

David James is a cretin.

Love' is the only weapon I have, I will defend with love, I will attack with love.

We often feel proud of our knowledge even when it is filled with emptiness.

Bilbo Baggins was standing at his door after breakfast smoking an enormous long wooden pipe that reached nearly down to his woolly toes (neatly brushed)—Gandalf came by.

You're not actually being a good actor all the time. But people refer to me as a good actor because they read it someplace, not because they've made up their own mind. So I'm very lucky!

I must honor those who fight of their own free will, he said to himself. And I must try to imitate their courage by following my path as a pacifist, wherever it takes me.

Better than a long speech is a single quietening word.

The gifts we are given in life require the best of us, not merely our best intentions.

Cats don't need to be possessed; they're evil on their own.

It is all right to hold a conversation but you should let go of it now and then.

Oh sure, I have a few black people in my family tree. They're probably still hanging there.