The Victorians needed parody. Without it their literature would have been a rank and weedy growth, over-watered with tears.

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram - that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything

Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so.

It may be those who do most, dream most.

I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.

A half truth, like half a brick, is always more forcible as an argument than a whole one. It carries better.

Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike - information and wit

I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.

Jesus Christ has already come to suffer in the hands of men and He shall least entertain anyone who will disturb Him in eternal eternity in the Kingdom of God! If you want to join Him, ponder!

We can only diffuse kindness, to the souls filled with bitterness

You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.

The world is ruled only by consideration of advantages.

Photorealism says: to fool your eye. That isn't what I've been interested in doing.

The great thing about being always among people of noble manners was the inevitable elevation of one's own.

There is no place in which to hide when Age comes seeking for his bride.

I do not think that any civilization can be called complete until it has progressed from sophistication to unsophistication, and made a conscious return to simplicity of thinking and living.

Maybe da Vinci didn’t serve lamb in his painting of the Last Supper, but there was room for interpretation. Jesus himself was the lamb led to the slaughter.