Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don't really know.

As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.

Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel.

The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.

Call me a dreamer, but I think it would be great if getting medical attention were as easy as getting a gun.

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.

Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.

If its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life until you are actually born.

The only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women is they must think women have oil.

If Mark Twain had had Twitter, he would have been amazing at it. But he probably wouldn't have gotten around to writing Huckleberry Finn.

Your current circumstances are part of your redemption story He is writing.

The beauty of being alive is that each day you are given another chance to correct what you did wrong and improve on what you can do right.

The difference between a truth and a lie is determined when one chose to accept the other.

A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.

But monument themselves memorials need.

Wonder what customers really want? Ask. Don't Tell.

It doesn't matter who you are or where you come from - if you put quality work out there, it will be appreciated.

Please tell me the cave just had a little indigestion. (Kat)

Far as I can tell, I still have most of my hair, my gut is not hanging over my belt, and I still have all of my teeth.

I record to my heart's content whatever I feel like.