Surely there must be a better gift God could have given us than life?

A Madagascar Hissing Roach chasing Jerry Lewis. That would be a really neat treat.

Once you put yourself in the hands of the government, you could end up in Utah.

Life is one big minefield, and the only place that isn't a minefield is the place they make the mines.

Living well and ripping your enemy's still-beating heart out with your bare hands is the best revenge.

You only live once and, usually, not even then.

I don’t think television will ever be perfected until the viewer can press a button and cause whoever is on the screen’s head to explode.

Making people laugh is the lowest form of comedy.

Licorice is the liver of candy.

If there were a Mount Rushmore of American humor, Terry Southern would be the mountain they'd carve it from

The transformation scene, where man is becoming insect and insect has become at least man and beyond that - a flying, godlike, shimmering, diaphanous, beautiful creature.

Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.

Seeking help is not defeat. It is my power.

Xenophobia is fairly widespread in Russia.

There is a coming home. A home base. Psychedelics help you reconnect with home.

It is in the Negev that the creativity and pioneer vigor of Israel shall be tested.

Africans should be talking and ask questions, like why does America and Russia have the right to veto votes? These countries talk about democracy and yet are not democratic themselves.

I have a great staff at the church; they protect me and allow me to focus on more of what I do best.

I am accustomed to pay men back in their own coin.

If you think you can lead your flock of sheeple and peeps to some glorified noodle fest on the mall, you got another thing coming, mister.

Grace does not destroy nature, it perfects it.