Licorice is the liver of candy.

A Madagascar Hissing Roach chasing Jerry Lewis. That would be a really neat treat.

Once you put yourself in the hands of the government, you could end up in Utah.

Life is one big minefield, and the only place that isn't a minefield is the place they make the mines.

Living well and ripping your enemy's still-beating heart out with your bare hands is the best revenge.

You only live once and, usually, not even then.

I don’t think television will ever be perfected until the viewer can press a button and cause whoever is on the screen’s head to explode.

Making people laugh is the lowest form of comedy.

If there were a Mount Rushmore of American humor, Terry Southern would be the mountain they'd carve it from

The transformation scene, where man is becoming insect and insect has become at least man and beyond that - a flying, godlike, shimmering, diaphanous, beautiful creature.

Surely there must be a better gift God could have given us than life?

The impulse to tell the truth was not as great as the fear of being left off the page.

The path to enlightenment is really very simple - all we need to do is stop cherishing ourself and learn to cherish others. All other spiritual realisations will naturally follow from this.

We live in an age of miracles so commonplace that it can be difficult to see them as anything other than part of the daily texture of living

If you want to strengthen an enemy and make him exult - hate him.

One of the problems I have with a lot of movies these days is that everything is too well lit. In the world of digital creations there is a tendency to show too much

I'm a different person today than I was yesterday. I live for the moment and everything that happens in my life changes me.

I'd just love magic. I'd love to be able to just click and transport. I'd be like a fairy little godmother, I think, going round hearing what people wish for and seeing what I could do for them.

Man is stupid, phenomenally stupid.

...even though you said yes to the wrong man, I hope that won't cause you to say no to the right one.

To exercise some sort of control over others is the secret motive of every selfish person.