Standing in a two-hour line makes people worry that they're not living in a democratic nation. People stand in line for two houres and they go over the edge.

The Greeks had invented democracy, built the Acropolis and called it a day.

Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings.

A zoo is a good place to make a spectacle of yourself, as the people around you have creepier, more photogenic things to look at.

There seemed to be some correlation between devotion to God and a misguided zeal for marshmallows.

All of us take pride and pleasure in the fact that we are unique, but I'm afraid that when all is said and done the police are right: it all comes down to fingerprints.

Remember that the most important thing is to try and love other people as much as they love you.

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

I started writing when I was twenty, and my first book came out seventeen years later.

Like all of my friends, she's a lousy judge of character.

A good [short story] would take me out of myself and then stuff me back in, outsized, now, and uneasy with the fit.

Every single good person is a good person for their own sake, not for the sake of humanity, not even for the sake of another human being.

Dogs come when they're called

Working with Waylon Jennings and Willie Nelson takes you up another level.

He's got a rematch clause in his contract but I'm not sure if he's going to want to exercise that rematch but if he does, I'd happily oblige. I'll go over to Canada and give him another whooping.

No matter how bad it gets, I can always rise up.

In France, you're with the crew, and you have lunch with them. It's more like a family.

In America, we have a government that is now run by white nationalists, by billionaires, by incredible misogynists.

God made us for more than just barely getting by. We weren't meant to sit on the sidelines of life because with God, we are on the winning team!

When I was a kid, I loved Popeye, but the old ones, the real old ones.

As a comforter, philosophy cannot compete with a good dinner.