Stand-up comics reflect less of a visual humor and more of a commentary.

I asked the Zebra, are you black with white stripes? Or white with black stripes? And the zebra asked me, Are you good with bad habits? Or are you bad with good habits?

When the light turns green, you go. When the light turns red, you stop. But what do you do when the light turns blue with orange and lavender spots?

Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.

Thanksgiving dinner's sad and thankless. Christmas dinner's dark and blue. When you stop and try to see it From the turkey's point of view.

There are no happy endings. Endings are the saddest part, So just give me a happy middle And a very happy start.

Never explain what you do. It speaks for itself. You only muddle it by talking about it.

What did the carrot say to the wheat? Lettuce rest, I'm feeling beet.

And all the colors I am inside have not been invented yet.

But all the magic I have known I've had to make myself.

I can be someone's and still be my own.

Beauty is seeing a flower bloom in a garden or in nature.Artificial is seeing that same flower try and grow in a vase of water.

All the men I know add that “hands that prepared it” line. They must know it’s right complimentary, an incentive to keep the women cooking.

Use what you have got to create your world.

Im dating a very high-maintenance career.

Everybody pursues their national interests. The only one who gets blamed for it is the United States.

We may restrict the expression of worship for a season, just as we may briefly hold our breath, but there is an inward craving for worship that cannot be permanently stilled

To be always thinking about your manners is not the way to make them good; the very perfection of manners is not to think about yourself.

To reason about love is to lose reason.

That was the Alka-Seltzer moment, the moment when the tablet hits the water and begins to fizz.

A man, like a watch, is to be valued for his manner of going.