Rick Perry is qualified to be President in the same way that Olive Garden is qualified to be Italy.

As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.

Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel.

The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.

Call me a dreamer, but I think it would be great if getting medical attention were as easy as getting a gun.

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.

Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.

If its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life until you are actually born.

The only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women is they must think women have oil.

If Mark Twain had had Twitter, he would have been amazing at it. But he probably wouldn't have gotten around to writing Huckleberry Finn.

We're victors, remember? We're the ones who can survive anything they throw at us

You are what you consume, and as an organism and consciousness, you in fact become a commodity and predator yourself.

Change can either challenge or threaten us. Your beliefs pave your way to success or block you.

I'm not sure Roosevelt was quite a monster, he just did a poor job on the economics.

Sometimes bad things have to happen before good things can.

Before even Court Grip, I just wanted to be a part of a brand that I felt that listened to the athlete and really catered to the athlete, and gave us what we were looking for.

I do have a library of events I can talk about and I always expect to find a different point of view on it so even if I talk about the same event in the same town it's fresh.

An actress must be a woman whose emotional perceptions are true, and to make them so, she must have a fine contempt for any art or thought that betrays them for something false.

Magic is not science, it is a collection of ways to do things ways that work but often we don't know why.

How should we provide for our families? Financially, spatially (be near them), emotionally, morally, spiritually. ...I don't have what it takes to provide for my family spiritually; I need Jesus.