Rhetoric does not get you anywhere, because Hitler and Mussolini are just as good at rhetoric. But if you can bring these people down with comedy, they stand no chance.

My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.

As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.

I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.

If you stand on a soapbox and trade rhetoric with a dictator you never win.

Hope for the Best. Expect the worst. Life is a play. We're unrehearsed.

Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you.

If presidents can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

I don't know what to say so I'll just say what's in my heart...badoom, badoom, badoom.

Human being living at the level of biomass will comply with all standards and patterns that are required by the surroundings and society

He’s looking for people he can be himself around. Aren’t we all?

Patience is like ice cold water runing truth your veins, but our love will be immense

The average TV commercial of sixty seconds has one hundred and twenty half-second clips in it, or one-third of a second. We bombard people with sensation. That substitutes for thinking.

Growing inequality is a huge problem, and of course is intimately connected to xenophobia and racism.

My husband thinks he's compromising if we have one cook instead of three.

Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr.

I'm very lazy, it's just that I love music and I love the things that I get to do. That's why I feel so blessed.

People have doubted me and criticized me my whole life, and that's why I'm the way I am.

You either create something and you keep it a secret and you die with it, or you can benefit the craft.