Pumpkin pie is a living symbol of mediocrity. The best pumpkin pie you ever ate wasn't all that much different from the worst pumpkin pie you ever ate.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

Foggy nights bring some comfort.He can get lost in the mistand there is no one to stare or question.

The questions you don't ask are just as important as you do. The questions you ask show what you understand, and ones you don't show what you know.

...as if in rebellion, certain emotions become amplified at the exact moments when you are expected not to feel them at all.

Authority does not equal competency.

Streetlife serenaders Have no obligations Hold no grand illusions Need no stimulation.

When a player knows he is a slave he'll never give his employer his heart.

The machinery of the world is far too complex for the simplicity of men.

Women been gittin' pregnant ever since Eve ate that apple.

My point, they [Trump's followers] still don't care. They're going to stick with him no matter what.

In fighting for women, we fight for humanity. We fight for the future - for everyone.