Privatisation splits hospital services into increasingly small packages.

By puberty I learned that nothing worth having could be easily attained and to succeed one must be single minded.

As long as we prioritize material truths over spiritual truths we will live in tyranny because we are living an illusion

You must not feel persecuted and examined. Liberate yourself from the idea that people are watching you.

The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.

People say you should read your criticism because it will make you a better person but it doesn't. It just makes you a sad bitter old showbiz nightmare.

I get fixated when I'm bleeding -- I can see why they went in for blood-letting in the medieval times because it makes you feel a bit better. When I cut myself, the drama of it calms me down.

A library doesn't need windows. A library is a window.

There are two types of people in this world: one who opens a packet of biscuits, has one and puts the rest back in the cupboard, and one who eats the whole packet in one go.

The bad-boy label is just an assumption.

There are 10-20 times more male comics than female comics; it's something to do with the social structure of society.

It's not the deprivations of winter that get you, or the damp of spring, but the no-man's land between.

I will say this about being an optimist: even when things don't turn out well you are certain they will get better.

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping.

Who was the first person to walk into a harbor and say, "Whatever that horrible smell is I want to eat it"

Being a good embalmer is a thankless job.

My interest in the sciences started with mathematics in the very beginning, and later with chemistry in early high school and the proverbial home chemistry set.

He who expects much will be often disappointed; yet disappointment seldom cures us of expectation, or has any other effect than that of producing a moral sentence or peevish exclamation.

I did a lot of things when I first started out. In order to be in show business, I juggled, I did magic tricks, cards tricks and I played the banjo.

My father says that those who want power and get it live in terror of losing it. That's why we have to give power to those who do not want it.

I would put myself towards left of center.