Performing music is a way to do comedy, but without the obligation to do a solid hour, hour and half of a standup. I could intersperse it with music, so it became a really good format for me.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language... Apache.

Be so good they can't ignore you.

I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.

I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.

Relationships end, but they don't end your life. But people do often spending more time finding out about failed relationships than finding successful ones.

Relationships end, but they don't end your life.

Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.

Once upon a time I thought I could change stories, make them go the way I wanted, instead of where they actually went.

Live Everyday with No Regrets, So you don't Regret it One day.

I am a person of faith: I am a person who will believe practically anything on no evidence at all.

You can’t stop a revolution from breathin’, so to beat ‘em they offer people the illusion of freedom.

When I start writing, my unconscious, my conflicts, my thoughts all start to come up. So for me, writing is an exploration. I never know how my stories will end.

It's like the panda, they say that's dying out. But what do they do? When you see them they're just sitting in the jungle eating.

I'm nice, and I show up on time.

I never was attached to that great sect, Whose doctrine is that each one should select Out of the crowd a mistress or a friend, And all the rest, though fair and wise, commend, To cold oblivion.

Relationships are negotiated and if you deal with ultimatums and authority all the time, then you're not going to get anywhere.

I didn't ask to be Thom Yorke. Thom Yorke asked to be me.