People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

A woman's mind is as complex as the contents of her handbag; even when you get to the bottom of it, there is ALWAYS something at the bottom to surprise you!

So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?

Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.

The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one.

I think age is terribly overrated. You're okay as long as you don't grow up. By all means grow old, but don't mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.

Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.

The very essence of leadership is that you have to have vision. You can't blow an uncertain trumpet.

I WAS NEVER THE SAME AGAIN EVER SINCE SHE PASSED AWAY, MY MOM

I wonder what it would be like to be with a boy who blushes when he looks at my skin.

Sports are in my soul. That's what drives me.

I think it's very important for someone going to buy a book, taking a class or listening to a lecturer to ask, "Is this the right thing for me to do now? If it isn't, guide me to what I need."

Farewell has a sweet sound of reluctance. Good-by is short and final, a word with teeth sharp to bite through the string that ties past to the future.

I think conservatives should be confident in our beliefs and go push them everywhere we can and go to non-traditional communities. It's a no-brainer.

If you are ever going to lie, you go to jail for the lie rather than the crime. So believe me, don't ever lie.

To love someone means that you sometimes are fulfilled the most by putting thier deepest desires above your own.

If I were you boys, I wouldn't talk or even think about women. It ain't good for your health.