One of the nice things about the Senior Tour is that we can take a cart and cooler. If your game is not going well, you can always have a picnic.

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

Pressure is playing for ten dollars when you don't have a dime in your pocket.

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list.

The older I get, the better I used to be.

You're Mexican until you make money and then you're Spanish.

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray.

Warfare cannot be humanized.

If you want to write, keep cats.

I know when I was a kid I ate a beetle. I ate a beetle because I thought it was licorice.

Now, isn't imagination a precious thing? It peoples the earth with all manner of wonders.

No gunfire, famine, or flies. Just lots of toothpaste, gardening and people stuff.

Returning hate, adding deeper darkness to a night that is already void of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.

I do believe abstraction is and was meant to embody deep emotion. I believe that's its job, in the history of art.

I have somewhat [Taylor's or Gallagher's guitars], but I like the power of the Martins.

What people really need and demand from life is not wealth, comfort, or esteem, but games worth playing

Artists who are relevant today won't be tomorrow unless someone does the right thing by their character and preserves it in the dialogue of a movie.