On the whole I woke up in the morning and was happy to be alive.

The best things in life aren't things.

People who live in glass houses have to wash their windows all the time.

There isn't a child who hasn't gone out into the brave new world who eventually doesn't return to the old homestead carrying a bundle of dirty clothes.

Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.

The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.

You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.

If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.

The things that matter most are not things.

This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are.

I worship the quicksand he [Richard Nixon] walks in.

War may sometimes be a necessary evil. But no matter how necessary, it is always an evil, never a good. We will not learn to live together in peace by killing each other's children.

Success is relative, but happiness is absolute.

I like a man who can respect a woman. When he's real attentive, I think that is very manly. To respect a woman is divine.

I did literature at university, so I had a real relationship with poetry, but they don't make many films about the world of a poet.

When I was filming the death scene [in Inglourious Basterds], and I'm killing somebody, I had to work myself up.

We will make it so that a Democrat cannot govern as a Democrat.

I'm always happy," Sasha said. "Sometimes I just forget.

I thought kissing was good with girls, but I always thought you know it probably could be better, so there was nothing really.

I've always considered myself a filmmaker who writes stuff for himself to do.

No matter who you are, if you have a $30 operating loss, you can carry it forward to the next year. And poor people do take advantage of that, also.