Often I'll go to the market, and women will say to me: "Let me see your shoes." And then I show them I'm wearing flip-flops.

A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit!

Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you're pretty sexy and you're taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.

As we speed along this endless road to the destination called who we hope to be, I can't help but whine, 'Are we there yet?'.

I don't believe in email. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up.

Follow your instincts and do not let other people's opinion of you become your opinion of yourself.

It's like the riddle of the Sphinx... why are there so many great unmarried women, and no great unmarried men?

Balls are to men what purses are to women.

After all, computers crash, people die, relationships fall apart. The best we can do is breath and reboot.

People go to casinos for the same reason they go on blind dates - hoping to hit the jackpot. But mostly, you just wind up broke or alone in a bar.

I got to thinking about relationships and partial lobotomies. Two seemingly different ideas that might just be perfect together - like chocolate and peanut butter.

The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook.

They're so cold, these scholars!May lightning strike their foodso that their mouths learn howto eat fire!

No one will ever know how perfect you are to me.love u zakiya

Laws, like sausages, cease to inspire respect in proportion as we know how they are made.

The sleep of a labouring man is sweet whether he eat little or much but the abundance of the rich will not suffer him to sleep.

I think Andy Kaufman is to comedy what the Velvet Underground was to music - it's like, 80 thousand records sold, but everybody who bought one started a band.

Every member of the priesthood should understand the divine plan designed by the Lord to raise up the first free people in modern times.

Romantic love is one of the most addictive substances on Earth.

Well, it was very interesting to play a character and stretch it over such a long time - 12 episodes. I had never done a TV show before, so week to week it was unclear what we would be asked to do.

Education is not filling the mind with a lot of facts. Perfecting the instrument and getting complete mastery of my own mind [is the ideal of education].