Nothing that Shakespeare ever invented was to equal Lincoln's invention of himself and, in the process, us.

Our form of democracy is bribery, on the highest scale.

There's a lot to be said for being nouveau riche, and the Reagans mean to say it all.

The unfed mind devours itself.

We are the United States of Amnesia, we learn nothing because we remember nothing.

Democracy is supposed to give you the feeling of choice, like Painkiller X and Painkiller Y. But they're both just aspirin.

Write something, even if it's just a suicide note.

Persuading the people to vote against their own best interests has been the awesome genius of the American political elite from the beginning.

The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so.

You know, I've been around the ruling class all my life, and I've been quite aware of their total contempt for the people of the country.

That loyal retainer of the Chase Manhattan Bank, the American president.

Stay humble as a writer: write on toilet paper.

Oh, this is the most TRAGICAL thing that ever happened to me!

What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31 NIV)

There may not be much future for the kind of sports column I did.

As long as a man feels that he is the most important thing in the world he cannot really appreciate the world around him.

We're going to make America rich again. We're going to make our country great again. And we need the rich in order to make the great.

It is in the area of feeling that religion enters the heart and is expressed by man.

I'm super reserved in letting people in my house. A lot of guys don't trust anybody in their homes but they would trust somebody like me because I've been there.

I go outside, and I'm wearing a funky T-shirt and my hair is dirty, and people say, 'What's wrong with her? She needs to invest in a hairbrush.'

To make advice agreeable, try paradox or rhyme.