Never underestimate the predictability of stupidity.

Winning doesn't really matter as long as you win

If all else fails, you could wait for the first corner and tie his dreadlocks to the goalpost.

The FA have given me a pat on the back. I've taken violence off the terracing and onto the pitch.

There are a few YouTube clips of me singing at The King's Head in Santa Monica, so you can see how bad I am.

I like Alaska for the salmon fishing - it's fantastic there. I usually stay in a log cabin with no one around for miles. I like to go with friends, but I'm also happy to be on my own with nature.

To me, England is past its sell-by date. It's not the country I grew up in.

I'd like to be the romantic lead one day, but I've got to grow my hair first.

My mum calls my temper 'Devilman.' They say you calm down with age, but I don't know. It never goes away.

I've always had my ear pierced with a diamond stud. I did it myself when I was 16.

I got into moisturiser when I played football. If you're out in all weathers you have to take care of your face.

I don't buy 'regret' idea. I need life's good lesson.

Justice cannot be for one side alone, but must be for both.

I was Computer Shopper's linux columnist for more than half a decade, from the late 90s onwards. Yes, I know about Linux. (My first review of a Linux distro in the press was published in late 1996.)

Through me you go into a city of weeping; through me you go into eternal pain; through me you go amongst the lost people

Through a forest of challenges, thought moves and squirms, resisting beguilements; if it endures, it emerges pure.

Icebergs behoove the soul (both being self-made from elements least visible) to see themselves: fleshed, fair, erected, indivisible.

The only time I took Ecstacy was years and years ago. It was absolutely amazing.

It is time to effect a revolution in female manners - time to restore to them their lost dignity. It is time to separate unchangeable morals from local manners.

You had to fight to get into the womb. Not only you but many souls rushed to enter, and the ones that won are you, and you and I. It was not an easy victory.

When one sense perceives the hidden, the invisible world becomes apparent to the whole.