Never do things for money. It's always the things you do for love that turn out to pay the best.

I believe in the separation of church and planet.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours.

A lot has been said about politics; some of it complimentary, but most of it accurate

Learn to trust yourself. That's very vital. ... Just stand with yourself. Remember, in his lifetime, Van Gogh sold only two paintings. I personally sold even fewer.

Life doesn't make any sense, and we all pretend it does. Comedy's job is to point out that it doesn't make sense, and that it doesn't make much difference anyway.

Life is a comedy when watching and a tragedy when experiencing. I try and share anything I have.

Life took over 4 billion years to evolve into you, and you've about 70 more years to enjoy it. Don't just pursue happiness, catch it.

Life has a very simple plot: first you're here and then you're not.

I've got soggy thighs. It must be dinner time.

Of the sparkling wines, the most famous is Perth Pink. This is a bottle with a message in, and the message is "beware". This is not a wine for drinking; this is a wine for laying down and avoiding.

Parker Haas, crying Omaha, and his sleepless Rose.

I don't do much driving - about 5,000-6,000 miles a year. And most of that is to the airport and to the racing circuits.

There is nothing a pig loves more than a good bath, with a loofah and plenty of soap flakes ... There is something delightfully lovable about a really clean pig, in clean yellow straw.

All hunt for fame, but most mistake the way.

Marriage, as practised by high society, is arranged indecency.

We all have different sides of our personalities, so I'd love to play some more different parts too.

The grace of God is like insurance. It will help you in your time of need without any limit.

Good visual layout shows the logical structure of a program.

Do you want to be successful? Nurture your talent.

The mere understanding, however useful and indispensable, is the meanest faculty in the human mind and the most to be distrusted.