Never appeal to a man's 'better nature.' He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

If a grasshopper tries to fight a lawnmower, one may admire his courage but not his judgement.

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

You can sway a thousand men by appealing to their prejudices quicker than you can convince one man by logic.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

I never learned from a man who agreed with me.

A generation which ignores history has no past — and no future.

Don't ever become a pessimist... a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun, and neither can stop the march of events.

May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.

It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so.

If you want total security, go to prison. There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on. The only thing lacking... is freedom.

I'm not going to lead my show talking about my kids, but will I perhaps mention my five-year-old swimming? Yeah! I think listeners groove on that because frankly, it's genuine.

I'm a poet,' the young man said, 'And it's my job to remember the sadness of things.

No one will be much or little except in someone else's mind, so be careful of the minds you get into.

Sometimes I struggle to watch stuff that I've done and sometimes I don't, and I'm sure that my judgment is based on whether I feel like I accomplished what I set out to accomplish.

As long as you represent me as praising alcohol I shall not complain. It is, I believe, the greatest of human inventions, and by far - much greater than Hell, the radio or the bichloride tablet.

Marriage, sanctified by the bond of fidelity, is the nearest life gets to a work of art.

I never really was a grime artist. I'm just an artist.

Overtime, hatchery fish tend to show signs of domestication and these traits adapted to the hatchery environment can make it more difficult to survive in the wild.

My ears are huge. If there's ever a problem with a plane I'm on, they could just put me on the wing and I'll land the sucker.