Nervous? He's tighter than Pat Buchanan's sphincter muscle at a 4th of July soiree on Fire Island.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

If you keep wanting to get back in the nest, you're missing the amazing experience of coming out to play at life for a while.

But you can catch yourself entertaining habitually certain ideas and setting others aside; and that, I think, is where our personal destinies are largely decided.

They hear you own up, and they learn to own up.

A law is something which must have a moral basis, so that there is an inner compelling force for every citizen to obey.

I have a problem about being nearly sixty: I keep waking up in the morning and thinking I'm thirty-one.

The reverie would not last if it were not nourished by the images of the sweetness of living, by the illusions of happiness.

To give ourselves totally to another person, as we do in marriage, is the most trusting step we take in any human relationship.

If you come out of British TV, they're kind of saying, "Here's the keys to the kingdom. You are now going to go off and become a moviemaker. If you do really well, then the world is your oyster.

I'm the f***ing Prime Minister!

When we commit violence against an infant girl, we call it child abuse; when we commit violence against an infant boy, we call it circumcision.