My son has been a class clown and it sort of ran in the family.

But I think the other is a little more like bullfighting, a little more daring and although I appreciate good acting and I liked being versatile my whole career, it kept me working.

I was in the De Witt Clinton Hight School marching band. One of the worst bands ever formed. When we played the national anthem, people from every country stood - except Americans.

In the book of things people more often do wrong than right, investing must certainly top the list, followed closely by wallpapering and eating artichokes

Comedy is still alive, and there are still funny people. Jews are still overrepresented in comedy and psychiatry and underrepresented in the priesthood. That immigrant Jewish humor is still with us.

Fear is the greatest salesman.

And the only studies were - Rodney Dangerfield was my mentor and he was my Yale drama school for comedy.

I learned more at The Second City than I did at Yale for all that high tuition.

I have a work-out regime; I am not a maniac. It sounds cliche, but stand-up comedy, doing a one-man show, helps keep me young, and yes, it is exhausting, but I don't collapse.

The '50s were terrifying with nuclear bomb stuff but boring in a social way and then the '60s were happening, and remember, there was no AIDS.

Your heart is a powerful force. Use it consciously.

The brain pays more attention to the gist than to the peripheral details of an emotionally charged experience...present information in a logically organized, hierarchical structure.

I put the bra in brand, and I top it!

Miami bumper sticker: My horn is broken-so watch for my finger.

My mom was always saying: 'Be whatever you want to be, but stick with it. Don't waver. Don't change who you are for anybody.'

Knowledge is one of our direst needs. But it is insufficient on its own. If knowledge was stripped from true up-bringing, it would increase man's strength, but not his morals.

The learned are envied by the foolish; rich men by the poor; chaste women by adulteresses; and beautiful ladies by ugly ones.

Generational bonds are easily formed and rarely broken.

'Twas not my lips you kissed but my soul.

True delicacy, as true generosity, is more wounded by an offence from itself--if I may be allowed the expression--than to itself.