My slogan is who needs fitness when you've got great equipment.

I believe nicotine plus caffeine equals protein.

I don't think I've ever stepped into a gym - they won't let me smoke there. I just thank God Miller Lite isn't as fattening as most beers. If I cut back on beer, though, I'd look anorexic.

I was never able to have three of four beers. One's too many, and ten just ain't enough. Basically it's the way I've been since high school.

I hit the ball as hard as I can. If I can find it, I hit it again.

Life is nothing but a memory. People who dwell on the bad ones aren't going to have a whole lot of good ones coming up.

This fitness thing is blown out of proportion. What am I going to do on a treadmill - smoke a cigarette and drink a diet Coke?

There are probably some things I could do to keep my flexibility up, but I'd rather smoke, drink diet Cokes and eat.

I enjoy the oohs! and aahs! from the gallery when I hit my drives. But I'm getting pretty tired of the awws! and uhhs! when I miss the putt.

I learned you can't drink whiskey and play golf.

Do I have to know rules and all that crap? Then forget it.

Soft feathers cannot make a cruel bird kind

― all you have to do is kill every citizen at birth and then, by God, you're left with the perfect ―

The best way to guarantee a loss is to quit.

Clinton's attempt to socialize healthcare was the second most disgusting thing he did in the oval office. I can't remember was the first thing was.

Men aren't necessities, they're luxuries.

As fast as each opportunity presents itself, use it! No matter how tiny an opportunity it may be, use it!

I never heard of anyone who was really literate or who ever really loved books who wanted to suppress any of them.

King Fahd was a man of great vision and leadership who inspired his countrymen for a quarter of a century as king. He led Saudi Arabia through a period of unparalleled progress and development.

Week-by-week you grow with your character and it's an interesting challenge.