My movies were the kind they show in prisons and airplanes, because nobody can leave.

Marriage is about the most expensive way for the average man to get laundry done.

When an actor marries an actress they both fight for the mirror.

Money doesn't buy happiness. It buys great hookers - but not happiness.

All you really have in the end are your stories.

The best way not to fail again is to be absolutely positive that when you do it this time, you're going to do it right.

If you hold on to things long enough, they get back into style. Like me.

I can tell a young person where the mines are, but he's probably going to step on them anyway.

You're not a man until your father says you're a man.

If you hang onto something long enough, it will come back in style.. Like ME.

I'm terrified of marriage. I'm terrified of not doing something so important and at the same time I think you shouldn't rush into these things.

Some are blessed with musical ability, others with good looks. Myself, I was blessed with modesty.

I will spend the next four years rebuilding the foundation of a opportunity society led by free people and free enterprises.

The worst part of success is to try to find someone who is happy for you.

The lips of the righteous teach many, but fools die for want of wisdom.

Everything I say about [writing] battles applies equally well in the boudoir.

Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter.

Everyone knows [George W. Bush] has no clue, but no one there has the courage to say it. I mean, good gawd, the man is as he always has been: barely adequate.

I'd like to get away from earth awhile / And then come back to it and begin over.

Someday is a dis-ease that will take your dreams to the grave with you.

Failure is a learning experience, and the guy who has never failed has never done anything.