My favorite thing in the world is a quiz show, 'University Challenge, ' so you can see what kind of sad person I am.

Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.

The rule is: don’t use commas like a stupid person. I mean it.

If you still persist in writing, "Good food at it's best", you deserve to be struck by lightning, hacked up on the spot and buried in an unmarked grave.

The reason to stand up for punctuation is that without it there is no reliable way of communicating meaning.

Punctuation marks are the traffic signals of language: they tell us to slow down, notice this, take a detour, and stop.

There are people who embrace the Oxford comma and those who don't, and I'll just say this: never get between these people when drink has been taken.

Proper punctuation is both the sign and the cause of clear thinking.

Old radio comedy makes me laugh, as well as 'I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue' and comedians like Paul Merton.

Texting is a fundamentally sneaky form of communication, which we should despise, but it is such a boon we don't care. We are all sneaks now.

Texting is a supremely secretive medium of communication - it's like passing a note - and this means we should be very careful what we use it for.

I hold it that a little rebellion now and then is a good thing, and as necessary in the political world as storms in the physical.

My heart felt withered, a neglected fruit that would never again sweeten, now that my love was dead.

I'm the same person. I don't put on a face. I'm the same guy every time you see me.

But the self-controlled man, moving among objects, with his senses under restraint, and free from both attraction and repulsion, attains peace.

Remind me that not everything needs to be said, and that there are very few things that need to be said by me.

I am 1952. I masticate. I am like a big stomach.

In the very books in which philosophers bid us scorn fame, they inscribe their names.

What you have to do and the way you have to do it is incredibly simple. Whether you are willing to do it is another matter.

Silence, yes, but what silence! For it is all very fine to keep silence, but one has also to consider the kind of silence one keeps.

To be a real philosopher all that is necessary is to hate some one else's type of thinking.