My father painted, well into his 80s, what he called hard edge abstractions. It's really cool.

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'

Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.

If a group of people - leaders - can convince a group of folk who barely have a pot to piss in that the rich shouldn't be taxed-- THAT is leadership!

When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out.

You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.

The moon was reigning over their world, glowing its full splendor to all those willing to look up.

Like everyone, I have my challenges—but they sure don’t have me.

The '90s was a decade of mundane market-consumer nothingness where there was nothing coming up from the streets you just had someone in an office deciding what was cool.

On July 4 we celebrate government of the people, by the people, and for the people, or as they are now called, corporations.

Philosophy only seems to offer endless dispute, with no cakes and ale.

My songs are not pretty. They're what I call optimistic realism.

For a large class of cases - though not for all - in which we employ the word meaning it can be explained thus: the meaning of a word is its use in the language.

I have a big ego, but I don't buy into it. I can't live off the ego. It's an honor that I get to be that guy onstage. It's not something I earned.

[Scientists] have learned to respect nothing but evidence, and to believe that their highest duty lies in submitting to it however it may jar against their inclinations.

The belief that society benefits from destruction is lunacy.