Montreal's not a city. It's a Disney World for alcoholics.

Wanna play a joke on your chiropractor? The next time he starts working on you, go limp and soil yourself.

I like to promote fitness by walking around home in my underwear.

For us, everything was a performance.” A small, private smile catches me off guard and I glance down, hoping he won’t see it. “Everything poetic.

Yesterday I lived today I suffer tomorrow I die but I still think fondly today and tomorrow of yesterday.

A championship team wins because it already has established players, while a talented team is just beginning to establish players.

Perfectionism is boring and doesn't exist-to strive for it makes you uninteresting.

Several girlfriends are easier to handle than one wife.

You wait for the war to happen like vultures. If you want to help, prevent the war. Don't save the remnants. Save them all.

Let excellence be your brand... When you are excellent, you become unforgettable. Doing the right thing, even when nobody knows you're doing the right thing will always bring the right thing to you.

So,would you say I’m closer to a zombie or a vampire? I gotta know—are my parts going to rot and fall off, or am I forever frozen in youthful perfection?

I'm not sure that some of the food purists are in touch with what really goes on in American households.

No one ever keeps a secret so well as a child.