Monogamy is the Western custom of one wife and hardly any mistresses.

It's no use growing older if you only learn new ways of misbehaving yourself.

Children with Hyacinth's temperament don't know better as they grow older; they merely know more.

Find yourself a cup; the teapot is behind you. Now tell me about hundreds of things.

He spends his life explaining from his pulpit that the glory of Christianity consists in the fact that though it is not true it has been found necessary to invent it.

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

Addresses are given to us to conceal our whereabouts.

Women and elephants never forget an injury.

The cat is domestic only as far as suits its own ends.

Poverty keeps together more homes than it breaks up.

You needn't tell me that a man who doesn't love oysters and asparagus and good wines has got a soul, or a stomach either. He's simply got the instinct for being unhappy highly developed.

Consider this a one-thousand horsepower divorce, sweetheart

I've been on a tweeting mission.

Footballers are no different from human beings.

I categorically declare first my absolute innocence, second my lack of criminal intent, and third my effusive apologies.

Successful and unsuccessful people do not vary greatly in their abilities. They vary in their desires to reach their potential.

The past goes right on pulling me apart, though I can scarcely remember the people or the issues.

Never stop reading. History doesn't repeat, but it does rhyme.

Do you really miss anything that was worth watching at the MTV Awards?

You've got to respond to the fans, and play well, or people will jump on you. They'll read something and jump on you.

Our mothers and fathers want change. They worked all of their lives, but today live in destitution.