Living with a dog is easy- like living with an idealist.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Everything comes out of smoke and mist and nothingness, a mystical happening…

Between the dark and the daylight, When the night is beginning to lower, Comes a pause in the day's occupations, That is known as the Children's Hour.

Music is like a huge release of tension.

The very spring and root of honesty and virtue lie in good education.

American businesses are struggling to pay outrageous, exploitive insurance bills for their employees, hampering our ability to compete globally.

In most companies people make a specific contribution to the company in their function. But it is not expressed in terms of profit, only in terms of performing their function better.

I just want to be remembered as a great actor.

At no time, anywhere, was the population of a country told the truth: facts about events trickled into general consciousness much later, if ever.

I find it so easy to get distracted - I try not to do more than one thing at any one time.

Oh, did I tell you I have a cookbook? I have a cookbook deal.